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Orthodox and On the Autism Spectrum

Jewish people are diverse as we at TribeHerald have been endeavoring to make people aware of the diversity inherent to the Jewish community. One part of that diversity that needs to be addressed as much as others is neurodiversity, including Jews who are on the Autism Spectrum. As an Orthodox Jew on the spectrum myself, I have noticed a few things about how Jews have handled interactions with people like myself.

For some context, I was always considered a little strange growing up, and those I went to school with always thought of me as “the weird kid.” I was given a variety of diagnoses over the years until I was twenty-three when a specialist determined that I have Asperger’s Syndrome. This diagnosis explained a lot for me, and the few friends I discussed it with said that it put things into perspective for them.

But notice that I said a few friends above, and there is reason for that. For all the talk of Jewish neuroses and therapists, many Jews—especially Orthodox Jews—have a difficult time understanding people who are Neuro-Atypical. I do need to stop and note that I am not discussing how schools treat students on the spectrum as the issue is different. Schools have not always had the best resources to help children on the spectrum. However, that is changing now, and more help is given to students. The issue, rather, is of a societal nature.

What I say now, I say from the perspective of someone raised in and is part of the Orthodox Jewish community. Perhaps other Jewish communities are different, and I welcome more voices to be heard from those communities to give more insight on the matter. When it comes to the Orthodox community, however, there is a noticeable reluctance to talk about the matter and mental health matters in general.

Many families will pressure their members to not discuss a child being on the spectrum due to a fear of how the community will react and how it will impact on the siblings. I wish I could say it is an unfounded fear, but there is a lot of judgemental voices in the community that would look down upon entire families for one child being considered different. This can even extend to parents feeling societal pressure to not put their children into programs that are designed to help them adapt, learn and cope better, because of a desire to see their children perceived as just like everyone else. Sometimes the family will reject a diagnosis and simply act as if the child just needs to put more effort into acting a certain way.

This is often due to preconceived ideas of what people on the spectrum are like, not helped at all by media depictions that are woefully inaccurate. These reinforced notions will lead to many not getting assistance when young, and this will have a detriment later on in life. For example, there can be a lack of learned coping mechanisms in young adults that sees them dealing with anxiety, depression, and isolation more as the years go on.

Fortunately, there is good news on the matter as well, and it comes in the form of the internet. The internet has allowed people to reach out and form support groups composed of people on the spectrum to help each other out. I have seen this with many groups, and I am pleased to say the Orthodox Jewish community is among them. It might just be done in secret for now, but a change in perception seems to be happening thanks to people on the spectrum realizing there are more like them. Finding common interest communities is also extremely helpful, and many with interests in specific areas, such as entertainment such as comics, video games, moves and TV can lead to lasting friendships. For others, this can also include types of Torah learning where people can find more acceptance where they once were viewed as unusual.

I feel change is slowly coming, even among the Orthodox Jewish community. That being said, however, there is still a lot of stigma to overcome, and mental health issues are still viewed largely as a private matter that is not to be disclosed ever. There is still work to be done in order to make people aware of what people on the Autism Spectrum are like, especially High Functioning individuals who can adapt well in society. There is still a fear of being, for lack of a better term, branded, but seeing the younger generation understand things more and be willing to reach out and communicate does give me hope for the future of Jewish people on the spectrum.